Come, Take My Hand

Tonight I'm sitting here in the quiet house, 2 kids & 1 cat sound asleep in the adjoining rooms & a husband who is working on a project out of town. It's quiet here & as I'm about to go into bed I realize how much I will miss our pillow talk. (I'm not sure that he will! LOL But I'll let him off tonight!)

I love my hubby! We will soon celebrate our 20th Wedding Anniversary! That completely blows my mind! I've been a little nostalgic lately as I realize that 21 years tomorrow we met for the first time! I remember it is GREAT detail, right down to what we were both wearing & which lights were on in the room & which ones were off. I also remember who was there & how they seemed to disapear the minute that Darren & I shook hands for the first time. I know it seems all "mushy/gushy" and right out of a soap opera, but I can tell you that the first time I held his hand & looked into his eyes, I knew that I loved him deeper than I could've imagined loving someone & that we would spend the rest of our lives & eternity together. I knew it without a shadow of a doubt. And it was weird & thrilling all at the same time. Especially since the man I had comitted to marrying was standing next to us & it wasn't Darren!

Yes, it's true, I was engaged when we met! I think back on that now & despite all of the morbid details that there are, I only remember 2 emotions. Fear & Gratitude....both towards the same person. Have you ever had one of those moments where something happens within a few seconds & yet your mind & soul are so consumed with pure knowledge & emotion that it seems almost impossible that "all of that" happened within such a short time frame? That's what happened to me. I remember being terrified that "HE" would somehow sense the miracle that had happened between Darren & I, and even more terrified of what would happen if he did. But even more profound was the immediate realization that "OH! This is why I needed HIM, it was so that I could meet HIM!" *swooning as I continued to look at Darren* That moment was the weirdest mix of terror & gratitude for facilitating that but extreme terror of him trying to prevent it & it not happening. And THAT idea, the one of Darren & I not being together was & still is, the thing that haunts me the most.

So every November 20th I begin to remember & I begin to give thanks for a plan larger than I could've imagined & for the knowledge that God is in charge & I'm so very thankful. For many reason, reasons that I can't even begin to list here. I'm thankful for fairytales that do come true, and the magical possibilities that can come when you shake hands with your very own destiny.

♥Love ya, sweetheart!♥