Roller Coasters

From the time I was a little girl, I loved the thrill of a roller coaster, the ups and downs and twists and turns, screams and squeals of delight and terror. At some point I realized that some of my friends were terrified of the same things that gave me such a thrill. Over the years I've come to realize that there are different types of roller coasters. And some, like the rickety ol' white coaster at Lagoon, are familiar and fine. But there are some I hope to never ride because I'm sure I would NOT like it.

Last week our family was shoved onto one of those nasty-scary coasters. We've experienced the frightened anticipation of knowing what could be coming, and still being TERRIFIED when it does, all the while screaming (both outwardly and inwardly) that we didn't want to ride anymore.

This particular Roller Coaster has a name:

Type 1 Diabetes

On Saturday, Feb 21st we attended the Draper Utah Temple Open House. It was a BEAUTIFUL day! The sun was shining, the sky was blue and it was a warm, pleasant day.

During the trip we noticed (and were annoyed) at Carson's frequent need to urinate & get a drink of water. It was after about the 8th time of needing to go in as many hours (or less) that we became concerned. Upon arriving home we did a little research on http://www.webmd.com/ and became very concerned. We decided to adopt a "wait and see" attitude. After confirming with his teacher Tuesday morning that he was doing the same thing at school, we made an appt. with our Doctor. At 3:30PM on Feb. 24, 2009 we hit our first big SCARY dip on this ride.

A normal blood glucose rate is between 70-120. Carson's official number (after a few blood tests) was 541! Dr. Grose called Primary Childrens Hospital and arranged for us to admit Carson that night. My head began to swirl & scream, my stomach lurched and my heart just pounded out the tears. I'm not one of those "hold it in until your child can't see you" kind of moms. I tried. I honestly tried, but the tears just softly fell. (at least I held in the sobbing and screaming part).

The only experience I've ever had with Type 1 diabetes was when Carson's best friend, Parker, died 2 years ago from this dreaded disease. I didn't want my child to die. I didn't want him to constantly worry about his fate being the same as his sweet friends. I wanted him to eat ice cream and skittles and get invited to birthday parties where cake was served. I wanted him to always enjoy Halloween and trick or treating. *STOMP* I want a different diagnosis....tell me it's a UTI and that he can take an antibiotic for a few days and then be fine. But it didn't come and we still have the same diagnosis & a whole new life.

Upon arriving at Primary Childrens Hospital in SLC we were greeted with warmth and kindness. The staff there is INCREDIBLE! Every single one of them are my new Heros! On a scale from 1-10, my stress level went from a 125 to about a 3 in the matter of minutes. There is a very special spirit there and I felt enveloped by their caring, capable hearts. They had Carson completely relaxed and HAPPY very quickly. He was so excited to be able to go down to the cafeteria at 11PM and choose whatever he wanted to eat. What an adventure.

The next few days are a blur. We stayed right in Carson's room. Darren slept in an upright/non-reclining rocking chair & I slept on a fold-out chair that I nicknamed "The Ironing Board". People came in and people came out. Everytime we redefined "the new normal". We learned out to count carbs and divide by Carson's "magic number". We learned all about the 2 different kinds of insulin that Carson is now taking (FOR LIFE!), how to figure out the dosage & how to draw them up from vial to syringe and then give him injections (a MINIMUM of 4x a day!). Darren & I even got to give an injection to each other. By day 2 Carson was independantly checking his own BG (Blood Glucose) levels and calculating & giving his own Insulin Injections! HE'S A ROCKSTAR!!!! And so BRAVE!!!!

We arrived home on Thursday night to a happy sister (thank heavens for cell phones and texting!) and a cleaner house (THANK YOU Kelly!) and supportive and wonderful friends! (Too many to name, but BIG shout-out to Tamara, Desi & Kris). He went to school on Monday and while I held my breath and prayed every second that he'd be ok. At the end of the day he came home with a packet full of love, a collection of get-well cards from his classmates who had been so worried.

This is my new life, and while I'm really sad about it, all I have to do is remember the wisdom of a wise old soul who happens to be my favorite little boy. When asked by his daddy (who happens to be my sweetheart) if he was doing ok with all of this, he said,
"Yeah I'm ok Dad, Sometimes Life isn't Easy and it's Ok"